Warning this is one of the -I don’t pull punches- post but at the same time it’s directed at no one particular other than myself. So if you are feeling attacked maybe it’s just self guilt. This is also not my normal upbeat empowering blog post. This is a make you think, make you see reality for what it is and stop living in a fantasy world.
For the first time in a while I am on a very unconventional schedule. I don’t have set work hours, my kids are in school all day and I am taking a class this semester that is kicking my tail. On top of that I currently have 3 dogs, 8 puppies, football, basketball and a household to run. You could say I have a full plate but in general I am the average mom who holds down the fort while her husband is off working somewhere in oil land.Yet, it’s so hard to just get lost in all of that and lose the person you are for the maid,taxi service, personal chef, and horrible homework helper! So it’s a Monday afternoon and here I sit in my Nike pants, sports bra, tank top and that pineapple look where you hair is piled up on top of your head with zero make-up on. This is my Monday look, well if we are being honest this is my most days look. Why waste the time, laundry soap, make-up and hairspray to put forth any effort that will later be destroyed by that wonderful list called life up ahead? I know I am not the only one whose t-shirt section more than doubles the size of the rest of their closet, am I? It began as sort of a joke in my house about if I was going to “look like a girl” today. Yet, when I really stopped to think about it, it wasn’t so funny. It was the truth. Now is my husband going to tell me that I don’t look fracking amazing just the way I am.. of course not! But when the packages of clothes that don’t remotely look like gym wear start showing up on your porch from amazon with your husband’s name attached to it you start to ponder what he is trying to tell you.
Are some of you starting to feel your defensive side coming out?
Being a mom is no-joke and is the hardest dang job anyone will ever have. There also isn’t a lot up front rewards involved in this, and then the older they get the less they listen to or need you and all the sudden we just became the maid and personal chef. Motherhood at a lot of times can give us that bottom of the barrel feeling. Which for me makes it worse to even give a crap to look like a girl! I decided it was time to knock off this funk and put myself together.. like literally..1 day a week at least, take a shower,and instead of following that with the homeless look, do your hair and dress in clothes that require more effort than pajamas! GET DRESSED UP FOR YOUR MAN! It really turned out if wasn’t for him at all. I just feel better about life when I do it. There are also a lot less mommy meltdowns when I do this. It’s harder to sit and eat my whole house in a pair of skinny jeans! If you think this has anything to do with your weight, you are sorely mistaken.
You can feel beautiful at any size. You can be an active participant in your life no matter what condition or thing is going on unless you’re dead, you get no excuse. Show up and participate in your life, it’s not going to be quite as long as you think it is and one day you will have blinked and it will have passed you by.
Married Ladies: No he probably didn’t marry you just because of your looks. But he didn’t marry you because you didn’t care about yourself either. We get so lost in the do everything for everyone mode that we forget to do something for ourselves. You know the saying if Momma ain’t happy.. Well momma can’t be happy if she is lost in laundry or weeks at a time! There is no shame in dressing up, getting a babysitter, and actually enjoying yourself! Believe me, your kid won’t die if once or twice they wore a dirty sock to school!
Single Ladies: I have one simple quote someone once told me for you..”If you can’t take care of yourself how are you going to take care of anyone else” Same with love.. LOVE YOURSELF, it’s a radiant thing and it will show all over your face and that is a stunning sight!
and now – The Dirty Little Secret.. SEX!
Believe it or not it’s actually beneficial to your (yes you the woman in the scenario) health. No joke, study upon study has proved that a healthy sex life leads to not only better moods but decrease in weight. No I don’t just mean, you are sweating off the fat! I mean your body will take a break on producing so many stress hormones! I hate it when I hear women, especially married ones who don’t “need” it or the worst – “we schedule it”.. Girlfriend yes you do and more than once a month!
Last- It is almost impossible to uplift yourself alone. If the statement holds true that you become like the five people you spend the most time with, what does your life reflect? Don’t surround yourself with constant negativity. We all get off track every now and then and go on a babbling rant but I am talking about the people who just live in it. The ones can’t ever find the positive and don’t ever fall sort to tell you about it. You can wash the poo off your shoes but it doesn’t do you any good if you have to go walk right back through it!
I have a friend policy- I am perfectly okay with you being a bitch as long as you can own it! I myself could screenshot text, well TEXT messages plural, that say Sorry I was a bitch, no excuse just a bitchy bitch today!
Being a mom is a hard job no one can discredit us on that one. Just don’t lose yourself in it. Show up and be an active participant in YOUR life. If you don’t, why should anyone else?